Tips to correct rude behavior in a child

As we met for our Pot lunch this month, the conversation circled around how we could correct the rude behavior of our children especially teenagers who talked back, yelled or rolled their eyes when you talked to them. It really stung parents with them feeling they had not raised good children.  

Rude behavior especially from teens is more a question of hormones; they’re on the path of individualization when they start figuring that they are different from their parents. Thanks to cell phones, texting that help them develop closer bonds with their friends and movie, books and TV shows that project parents as clueless fools.

Here are a few tips to correct rude behavior in a child:

Parents should maintain their parental status and abstain from being a child’s friend; your child looks up to you in this confusing stage of adolescence. He/she would ultimately take the cue of how to behave based on how you deal with the situation.

Next convey the message that you are also a person to be respected; respect him/her also and apologize when you are in the wrong. Like when I start to speak before my son finishes, say sorry to give him the same respect you deserve.

As your teenager exercises his/her independence draw clear lines on the sand figuring out what is important to you like right and wrong, honesty and grades and what doesn’t matter in the long run as wearing clean socks or keeping the room clean. My daughter knows very well that I consider it rude to raise her voice and walk out of a conversation, but do not mind eye-rolling and heavy sighs. Communicate clearly and calmly as soon as any un-acceptable behavior begins and try to not wait till things have got out of control.

Choosing a teenager appropriate punishments for infractions helps; while you could make a young child to do what you want by positive reinforcement and occasional time-outs, a teenager requires the taking away of a favorite activity like an Xbox or as cell phone when he/she talks back or mumbles something rude under one’s breath.

When a teenager screams or gets hysterical in a conversation, it is best to step back and wait for things to cool; this would help to diffuse the high emotions. It will help for a parent to say that he/she go calm one and then talk later. Your teenage child will soon be in a better frame of mind to talk to you.

Set aside some face time to talk to your child say at breakfast or while taking his/her pet dog for a walk; listen patiently to all that your child tells you.  Also be ready to talk to your teenager when he/she wants to and pay full attention to what he/she tells you. A few minutes of focused attention would show your teenager that you care about what she's going through. If you are busy, you could suggest some other appropriate time; it would be comforting to talk about what is in his/her mind over a cup of tea. Your teen will continue to come to you when he/she knows you will listen without judging unimportant details.

Your teenager child still needs and wants you, it would help to designate days as Family nights when the family would spend time together cooking, playing games and doing other things together; no activities, no computers, no texting and no video games. This would remind them that they are a part of the family and are OK as themselves.

All this will help correct rude behavior in a child especially a teenager. 

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