How To Deal With A Child That Bullies

Bullying is undesirable and most parents of bullies feel tensed and on the defensive when they are informed about it from the school or other parents. Bullying does not necessarily come from bad parenting, but other reasons like the child has been bullied, peer pressure or the child and the belief that it is the best pattern of relating to others. Whatever the reason be, the bully’s behavior is to be addressed and he should be made responsible for his behavior.

Tips to deal with a child bully:

• I have as a parent realized that it is futile to get emotional or on the defensive; it is important to listen empathically to what the school or another parent and gather all information about your child. This should be followed by listening patiently to what your child has to say. Do not be in a hurry to take a decision for discipline before you have fully listened to the child.


• The issue of bullying cannot be remedied unless you get to the root of the issue and find out why the child bullies. Bullying could be due to various factors; the reasons could be your child was previously bullied, peer pressure, he believes it is the best way to respond, something happening at home or he wants to be in charge.


• Remember there are 2 sides to any problem; some child bullies may try to minimize their behavior by telling a distorted story of the incident even before the school or parent calls to inform you. It is best to realize you may never know exactly what happens, but this should not stop you from implementing discipline.


• It is imperative to make the child understand that he choose to be a bully;  once the child takes responsibility for his behaviorit is best to make him understand that bullying inflicts physical and mental pain on others and is undesirable. Make sure that he repeats that he was wrong before going on to implementing consequences; this would depend on the incident of bullying and your own parenting style.      


• Dealing with a bully child does not end with your action at home only; it is best to partner with the school and support whatever they are implementing to stop the child from bullying. This would more strongly communicate to the child that bullying is undesirable and will not be tolerated.     


• Helping your child that bullies also means knowing the cause of bullying; if it is due to being bullied, peer pressure, anger or any other negative emotions. He is to he helped to overcome it by helping him form positive friendships; anger and negative emotions may require the help of a counselor.   

Bullying does not end with this; the prevention of future bullying incidents depends on working with empathy, firmness and in a consistent manner to improve the child’s self-esteem.