Avoid Saying These 10 Things To Your Kids

Parenting is not about only doing and not doing some things; it is about avoiding some more old-school phrases like "Wait until your father gets home" or "I wish you were more like your sister."

Avoid saying these things to your kids:

   1) "Great Job": Saying phrases like this every time your child masters a skill makes him/her dependent on your affirmation rather than his/her own motivation. Save this kudos to times when they are truly warranted and be specific.

2) "Practice makes one perfect”: This phrase sends the message that if the child had trained hard, he would not make mistakes.  Instead encourage a child to work hard to improve and feel proud of his progress. 

3) "You're okay": Never reassure your child with this phrase when he/she hurts his/her knee and cries; he/she will only feel worse. Never discount his emotion, and say something like "That was a scary fall" and suggest a bandage, kiss or both. 

4) "Hurry up": Using this phrase when a young child dawdles over her breakfast and insists on tying her own sneakers and is getting late for school create additional stress. Instead soften your tone and say, “Let’s hurry” sending message of team effort or suggest, "Why don't we race to see who can get her pants on first."

5) "I'm on a diet": Create a healthy outlook about losing weight; instead of constantly using the scale and talking about it, it would help to say, "I'm eating healthy because I like the way it makes me feel" or "It's beautiful outside -- I'm going to take a walk" instead of “I need to exercise.”

6) "We can't afford that": This phrase only gives a child a feeling that you are not in control of your finances; he/she may express his/her displeasure when you make an expensive purchase. Instead it would help to convey the idea in a different way, "We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things." This could also be a perfect window to start a conversation about budgeting and managing of money. 

7) "Be careful": This phrase could make your child fall or fail as it could distract him from what he is doing and he will lose focus. If you are anxious just move close to see if he/she takes a tumble, by being as still and quiet as you can. 

8) "Don't talk to strangers": It may seem a tough concept for a child to grasp, as a vast majority of child-abduction cases involve someone a kid already knows. Also kids may take this rule the wrong way and resist the help of police officers or firefighters whom they don't know. Bring up scenarios, have him/her explain what he/she'd do, then guide him/her to the proper course of action. You could tell your child to tell you right away if someone makes him/her feel sad, scared or confused.

9) "No dessert unless you finish your dinner": This expression increases the value of the dessert and decreases the enjoyment of the meal. You could create a positive impact by saying, It "First we eat our meal and then we have dessert.”

10) "Let me help": This phrase could undermine a child’s independence and make him/her look to others for help always. Instead, ask guiding questions to help him/her solve a problem.